Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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