Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
