That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize