Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize