You made me cry and you don't even care
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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