Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
