Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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