Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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