A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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