I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Randomize
