brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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