I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
