I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
