after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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