I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
