super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
