Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
