Don't you send me to vm
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
3pm strippers are depressing
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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