I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
