No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
