Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I still have a little drunk in my system
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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