TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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