Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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