if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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