If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
