i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
the liver wants what the liver wants
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
