Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Help. Why am I so naked?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
