Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
COCAINE IS GR8
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
