I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i was born a porn star she said
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
