stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
