who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
