he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
