yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
