You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
