Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
where are my eyebrows?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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