trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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