What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
