You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
