you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
