hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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