Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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