There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
