found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
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