Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
