You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
