Jerry, you need to find god
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Randomize
