is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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