before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
