You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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