He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
