We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
