You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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