When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
