So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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