I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
