i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When are your genitals available?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
