shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
