I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
