did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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