i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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