We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
