I think i peed on brittanys purse
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
