we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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