I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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