he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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