I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
There's always time for handjobs
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
