Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize